I remember a very wise person describing depression to me some years ago.  He said, when the depression lifts you start seeing "in colour" again.  This image has always stayed with me.

Although I have not felt that depression has darkened my door, I do feel that, after the breakup that brought me to wiki, I stop seeing things in colour... stopped seeing all the good around me, the landscape, music, art, flowers... I looked at the ground and never looked up... it felt safe in the darkness for a while.

It has taken many attempts to step forward and also many sliding backwards to get to where I am

Well after finding out more stuff on friday, which left me quite frankly - pissed off.....that's putting it politely too!   The weekend has been one filled with all sorts of emotions.

Had the idea of going out Sat night and getting absolutely rat arsed.....Not very lady like Iknow.  But after the first pint, I really didn't have the stomach for anything at all.   Came home sober, not that it matters.

Sunday, was a day filled with tears, felt as if the anger felt on Friday had caught up with me. 

Still fearful of the future and where's it's heading, lack of finances is another.  But I still made

Well, after being told i couldn't paint the walls, strip the wall paper etc in the house as i could go to court for criminal damage i wasn't best pleased.  I wouldn't mind but the house is in shit order and i'm improving it.  Of course, that's what he says i can't do.  i have to ask him permission as he's the co-owner. 

Every couple of days he has to make the phone call.  Something new to piss me off and to try and break me