I have been feeling up and down throughout my first holiday season without my stbx.  I had a lovely Xmas with family and a New Years Eve out with old friends and made some new ones.  I reminisced how 1 year ago I had a romantic weekend getaway with stbx just before it turned to 2010.

Today I feel angry about the way I was treated. Vivid images of what was said to me and how I was made to feel like a worthless object all summer long.  He couldn't care less how much he hurt me.  In fact, it was most likely his cowardly objective so that I would leave him.  Giving me moments of emotional torture

To anyone feeling this day is a marker of time and change, to anyone who might feel a bit down with the turning of a year, please be kind to yourself and remember that we invented these 'markers in time' and that it doesn't have to signify anything more than a different number to write on the date space.

It is still winter, the weather doesn't change just because it is a new year; and if you don't use it as a point of reflection to see what hasn't happened or what the last year brought you, it will feel much better on your soul.

 Nothing much has changed for me in almost 3 years of singledom,

How many of us have thought back to 1st jan 2000? What were we doing? What plans we had then?

Some of the plans will have come to fruition. We took our family to Florida and had the best 3 weeks of our life! No regrets there!

BUT the future is ours now to do what we want with it. Yes there are limitations to what we can achieve in some cases BUT we have CHOICES. We can choose to move on and have the best life possible. set some realistic goals and achieve them. i did and all the goals I set myself so far I have achieved so now i have set some more!

I don't find any of this easy and i take a long