During our marriage i thought it was perfect but looking back now i can see i was drinking too much, holding down a stressful job and whenever my husband wanted to do anything i was either too tired or we'd no money. after time i took out my frustrations of debt, being overweight, stressed on him and he must have come to the end of his tether to leave. Since he left i have behaved totally irrationally and at times awful. one minute i hate him for moving us down south then leaving us. the next minute i cry and grieve for what could have been if only i'd shown more respect. he now has a

My ex manages to unnerve me even when he leaves me alone! Have not heard anything for a week from him or the solicitor and it worries me- I think he must be up to something! I am in a constant state of anxiety with butterflies in my stomach- I don't trust him. I have a date this weekend but cannot get excited about it- it is probably too early and I don't want any more messy emotions to deal with. He may be a lovely guy but do I have the energy to let him show me? god I get so lonely and now there's a positive, it scares me rigid! No wonder my husband couldn't handle me- I am so mixed up. I

Today is a really bad one.  I thought Monday was very bad and that yesterday was bad too,  but today - dear God - I have never felt so despairing in my life.  Even when I discovered his affair last year and shortly afterwards had a miscarriage, I can't recall misery like this. There always seemed to be a small part of me fighting the despair and trying to claw back up, but now - nothing. nothing  nothing that's how it feels a great big misery filled chasm.  No end in sight.

I love my little boy but it's not enough - I just want out.  I have spent 8 months trying to combat the fall-out from my