The start of my rantings. I think I will use the blog to let off steam although my best mate and family have been very good in helping.

I am being accused of unreasonable behaviour. She says it is just a means to an end but it hurt. If working too hard to pay the mortgage and school fees is unreasonable then i'm guilty as charged. Should I defend this or just accept and get on with life?

Found a great flat today, which has 3 bedrooms, lowish rent and less than a mile from the children - result! Hope its a good omen.

Last week found her reading my email and texts - still can believe this,

Gosh when you read that your emotions will be a rollercoaster then your all not wrong.

One day I am angry hate him for throwing away our life, dreams and plans. He gave up without a fight and i hate and miss him at the same time. can't believe what i put up with over the last few months. Seems so obvious that he was having an affair - hindsight a wonderful thing!

Then the next day

positive, looking forward to meeting new people doing what i want to do, and making my own plans.

Then back to square one can't stop crying, sick of talking about it.

Guess just have to take one day at a time and enjoy