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May 01
2009
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My life is a car crash....I have tried and tried to make my marriage work but he still lied to me and was sleeping with OW when we were supposed to be getting back together. He's now gone back to her and enough is enough. He's put me through hell and I can't take much more. Why can't I do what he's done and move on and forget I was married? Why am I still crying over a selfish, vulgar person? I have no support from anywhere because everyone could see what he was like...except me...and they are all glad he's gone. They're telling me I'm worth more and that I will find someone who respects me but I really think I'll be alone forever. Sorry this is such a depressing blog, it's just the way I feel.
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flick5
said:
| May 01, 2009 | ||
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And that's perfectly normal. My story is the same. Husband having an affair, I found out,he finished it, we're working on our marraige. Except in reality I was working on our marriage and he had gone back to the OW. It hurts when you love someone so much that you're prepared to do anything to make the marriage work and then to find out that no matter what you do it's just not good enough. I still love the man who did that to me but when I'm really down, wishing he was here I pull myself together with the thought...'Remember what he did to you' I too worry that I won't find anyone else and feel desperate at the thought of spending the rest of my life alone but I've decided to stop stressing about that for now and put my energy into turning my life around then, hopefully, this wonderful, mythical man will become a reality. You are worth so much. Take care. It does get better. Truly!xx |
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shadow
said:
| May 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Oddsocks I have to agree with Flick, it is normal to feel the way you do, and it does hurt when you have made the effort, even though it was your husband who had an affair, and he has not made any effort. Mine is a similar story, my stbx had an affair for 7months, I didn't know a thing. He left me and came back 5 times, then left me and has now moved in with his OW. It hurts like hell doesn't it, being lied to and lied to and then having your hopes built up, only to have them come crashing down again, and being told more lies. BUT I remind myself that this man is no longer the same person as the man I married, this is a different man, and one that I don't love and no longer want in my life. Try and concentrate on yourself now, and think of how you can make yourself happy. Treat yourself, you deserve it - you are important, he has chosen a different life, and thats his loss and your gain. You will not be alone, but do not dwell on thinking that. Just try and keep yourself busy and learn to find the real you and what you want out of life - the rest will come to you. Believe me when I say that your life will get better, and you will be stronger as a result of what you are going through now. You have wiki friends who care about you, you are therefore never alone. best wishes xx |
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julesm
said:
| May 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Oddsocks I know how you feel as I am struggling with the same kind of emotions. I still think sometimes of how unfair it is that he has carried on regardless while I am left suffering with a broken life and a broken heart. I think little by little though I am getting better as I dont think about him as much as I used to, and that has to be progress surely. Take care of yourself, you are the person that matters now. Best wishes Jules |
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Teabag22
said:
| May 01, 2009 | ||
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Odds, life will be emotional for a while.... leave him behind and concentrate on you!!! talking to you in chat makes me think you can do this life alone and Odds we need to be alone to rediscover ourselves ((((huggggsss))))))))) Teabag |
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saffron1968
said:
| May 02, 2009 | ||
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((((Odds)))))) It will take time, just look after yourself and take one day at a time and keep coming on here for support. Lots of love and hugs Saffy xxx |
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biffy
said:
| May 02, 2009 | ||
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Me telling you that things will change will seem pretty meaningless just now so I am not going to say them. I was in a very similar situation and although we are all unique we all feel pain and I can only tell you that my pain is now subsiding, yes I still love him and I am glad I do because then I know I am a good person. We do not have the answers to why? oddsocks and we probably never will but I do believe kind of that all things happen for some reason or other (as screwed up as that seems). My life has gone on and although I have a long way to go I am discovering new things and feeling better as time goes by, this I wish for you too, it will happen. So yes you will have very bad days then you may have a good one but it is assured that one day you will have yet another "best day of my life" and hey imagine when that happens you can look back at all this and smile and say "I am happy again". I wish that day will come very very quickly for us all. Take care and you know I am here, Biffy xxxxx | |
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oddsocks
said:
| May 02, 2009 | ||
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Posted my divorce papers back to the court today  I wish I could stop thinking of him and her. All the nasty things he said about her to me and to his friends must have all been lies. Part of me thinks (knows really) he's only with her because he just can't be on his own. Well, I'm giong to try to build a life for me and when I do meet the man of my dreams he will come into my life on MY terms. Thankyou all so much for being there for me X X X |
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